


Stars and Stripes

by Eshnoazot



Series: Avengers prompt ficathon [5]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Gen, Pepper is a BAMF, Steve is exasperated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshnoazot/pseuds/Eshnoazot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Captain Rogers," She started diplomatically, "Are you telling me that you can face down SHIELD, Master Assassins, Terrorists and Super-powered Villains, but you can't ask your own team to stop exclusively buying you America-themed goods?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Okay," She relaxed into her chair and considered him for a moment, "Captain, have you considered other methods? Writing a letter? Asking JARVIS to intercept any Rogers-related brainstorms? Not wearing or using the offensive items?"</p><p>"That would be impolite." He frowned so deeply that her eyebrow twitched.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars and Stripes

She thought herself a sensible kind of person.

A sensible, intelligent person who expertly managed Stark Industries, and  _Tony Stark_ , while still having time to curl up in bed at night with a copy of her favourite book and a cup of Tea. The world of business was logical, explainable, and dependable, and in was in these elements that she shone the best, and the brightest. While being CEO was no cake walk, it was still familiar territory that she could walk in with trust. It was an environment that was stable under her heels, and embedded into her very cells. Arguing, debating, negotiating- these were the qualities that she excelled at. The qualities that had lead her to become CEO of Stark Industries in the first place.

Somehow, these qualities never seemed to be potent enough when faced with  _The Avengers._

Because it was rare that there was any explainable logic in their actions. 

Besides, no one’s qualities seemed to measure up when Captain America was standing in front of your desk, literally wringing his hat in his hands with an expression so distraught that it could bring perfectly good people to commit horrible crimes to make him smile.

"Captain Rogers," She greeted him with a smile that barely seemed to calm his nerves, "Please have a seat."

The man froze under her gaze, and stared at the floor while he grappled for words, before relaxing into his seat and abandoning his poor hat in favour of wringing his hands. He licked his lips and attempted to speak, but abandoned the action to stare at her with a pure, untainted hopeful gaze.

"I have a problem," he confessed, before pausing, "With Tony. I mean, not just with Tony-  _he hasn’t done anything, ma’am_ \- I mean, nothing worse than usual, but I’m sure he usually does it in jest, like friendly hazing. He just likes to beat his gums,  _honest_. He can be a pretty standup guy.”

"Well, I’m glad Tony has been behaving himself," She replied in amusement, "How can I help with this _tangentially_ -Tony related problem?"

The blond hesitated, then sighed loudly, rubbing at his temples with an exasperated expression. He glanced up at her and let out a short laugh that did nothing to convince her that Captain Rogers was in any kind of a rational mindset. But then again, he was an _Avenger_ , which placed him on a whole different scale from the rest of humankind.

"This is silly, I know everyone thinks I’m a little old-fashioned and out of date, and everyone has been  _swell_ , they really have been, but," Steve paused again, then stared right at her, in a bold expression, "Everything is _red, white and blue_!"

"Excuse me?" She blinked.

" _Everything_!" Steve exploded, then shrinked, as if personally offended by his own volume, "Sorry- but everything is _red, white and blue_! I'm very grateful that people care enough to buy me things, ma'am. But when someone buys me Socks? Toothpaste? Bread? Notebooks? Everything people give me is  _Red, white and blue_! Tony brought me a _star spangled apron with a freedom eagle_. Clint keeps buying me Captain America Scivvies! I own _thirty-five American flag sweaters_ , Miss Potts, _thirty five_. Why would I need _thirty five_ sweaters, why would _ANYONE NEED THIRTY FIVE SWEATERS_?!"

"Are you sure they aren't playing an elaborate and tasteless joke?"

Steve inhaled in a deep desperation for oxygen, and looked at her with his wide pleading, desperate puppy-eyes that made her inner 12 year old Captain America fangirl swoon with emotions. It might have worked more if he hadn't been wearing the American-flag sweater he was hysterical over. Unlike 12 year old Pepper, CEO Pepper Potts sighed and lent across her desk with an incredulous expression that she used to tame Tony's alcohol fueled shenanigans.

"Natasha was bein' gracious and brought me these real nice shoes- the kind me and Bucky used to wear because they were cheap," Steve announced in a growing Brooklyn accent, as he showed her his converse-clad feet, " _Red, white and blue_! And Bruce was bein' kind because I needed a new backpack and you guessed it- _stars and stripes_! Even Agent Coulson has been givin' me stationary with the american flag in the background!"

"Captain Rogers," She started diplomatically, "Are you telling me that you can face down SHIELD, Master Assassins, Terrorists and Super-powered Villains, but you can't ask your own team to stop exclusively buying you America-themed goods?"

" _Yes."_

"Okay," She relaxed into her chair and considered him for a moment, "Captain, have you considered other methods? Writing a letter? Asking JARVIS to intercept any Rogers-related brainstorms? Not wearing or using the offensive items?"

"That would be _impolite._ " He frowned so deeply that her eyebrow twitched.

"Have you considered that your teammates are under the impression that your favourite colours are those found on the American flag?" Her smile grew wider to hide her exasperation, "There are decades of Captain America comics and tv shows and merchandise that have cemented you as being a deeply patriotic man- to the extent that you are seen to many as being the personification of America?"

"Captain America is," Steve pointed out with a sigh, "I'm only _Steve Rogers_."

"To most Americans, Steve Rogers and Captain America are intertwined figures," She let the words sink into his mind before continuing, "I think you need to talk to them about separating your Public personality from your private reality."

Steve paused, and slowly nodded.

"And what is Steve Rogers' favourite colour?"

" _Brown_ ," He sighed in clear relief, "It's _warm_. And brown here looks the same like it did back in Brooklyn. I'm very sorry for blowing a fuse at you, ma'am. I hope you'll accept my apology."

"No apologies needed," She replied, with a smile tugging at her lips, "I can talk to Tony if you need?"

"No need to go to any trouble," Steve ducked his head, "I'll take a gander at it myself. Thanks for listening to me, Miss Potts. It was real nice talking to you, I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

"Nothing of consequence. You can call me Pepper, Captain."

Her smile grew as he relaxed further and offered her his bright smile and dimples in return.

"Well then, it's only fair that you call me Steve."


End file.
